It’s better than chocolate, or is it?
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Hello Lovelies and welcome to our Lovehoney advent calendar review!
If you’ve been following our Kinkmas countdown, you’ll know that I promised a review at the end. But now that it’s all over, what was our opinion on the Lovehoney 12 Day “Discover Romance” advent calendar, Was it all really worth it? Here’s our honest thoughts.
Lovehoney’s 12 Day “Discover Romance” Advent Calendar: Our First Impressions
When you open your advent calendar two leaflets fall out — a quick-start guide and a safety guide — which provide you with some guidance and safety information. We didn’t look at those right away as we didn’t want to ruin any surprises!
We liked the gold foil details on the external box and boxes; they add a touch of luxury to something that might otherwise feel a bit garish without it. The different patterns on each box are a nice touch too, and we especially loved the gentle guidance on each box that gives you an idea for what to do with that gift. Nice!
Only one little niggle with the packaging: some items — like the bullet vibrator and crystal butt plug — were wrapped nicely in gift wrap, and others — like the massager and wand sleeve — were stuffed into boxes with a bit of tissue paper at the end. Neither is wrong, but it feels like the packaging department gave up halfway through.
What’s Inside? Our Top Three Gifts
1. Lovehoney 10 Function Gold Bullet Vibrator
This was our gold-star, mutually-appointed winner. With strong vibrations and a variety of patterns, we agreed that this bullet vibrator is the absolute powerhouse of the advent calendar. So good in fact, that for us, box 1 even outranked box 12!
2. Body Massager
Sure it’s not especially sexy, but for us, this body massager is just superb for kneading out all of those aches and pains. Matt likes it, and I like it as it provides me with a great way to deliver a massage without risking hand cramp. Accessible romance, in its own way!
3. Lovehoney Satin Blindfold
I love this thing, even more than the one I bought directly from the store — It’s silky smooth, padded and comfortable to wear, and it’s completely blackout too! I was going to go with the silky restraints for our number three but I think the blindfold wins by a landslide. If I have to choose between being blindfolded or being restrained, I’m going with the former!
And The Worst…
1. Lovehoney Vanilla Massage Oil
Where’s the vanilla at? Seriously? I know us kinky folk are supposed to be almost allergic to anything considered vanilla, but if a massage oil is supposed to smell of vanilla then I want it to do so! This oil didn’t though. In fact, it doesn’t really smell of anything at all. Very disappointing.
2. Lay-On Vibrator Sleeve
I’d never used a lay-on vibrator before this calendar so I was very excited to try it, but sadly I found it a huge let-down. I was really hoping that it would be something else to deliver me some amazing, alternative-to-suction orgasms but… nope!
3. Crystal Butt Plug
Look, I’m probably being picky here, but it’s my blog so it’s my rules. I really liked this plug when it arrived — that jewel colour is glorious — but it’s kind of on the large and hard side for a beginner and I don’t find that shape particularly beginner-friendly either — something like this set is better. I’m all for trying out a bit of anal play, but a metal butt plug does feel like a bit of a shove in at the deep end. Maybe just a small, slimline silicone plug would be better? We know you sell them, Lovehoney…
The Verdict: Would You But A Lovehoney Calendar Again?
There are two parts to this answer, so I’m going to give you summary first, then the final star score.
Would we buy an advent calendar again? No, but that’s not really because there’s anything wrong with them. They don’t change much (if at all) each year, so once you’ve bought one, you’ve kind of done the whole “Lovehoney Advent Calendar” thing. Plus, they’re not cheap, and just like Matt said, “£99 for 12 days, and on three of those days you get a silicone accessory for the bullet vibrator from box one?”. That’s irrefutable logic.
So they’re okay, but unless you’re after a fun and festive introduction to sex toys I think I’d rather save up and buy what I want, when I want it — or do what I’m doing next year and build your own advent calendar!
What about the star review? Well, given things like the massage oil and the glycerin-containing lubricant, I expected the star rating to be as low as 2.5-3. However, when I did the maths, I was actually surprised! The grand total star score of all of gifts was 43.5, but divide that by 12 and round up a touch for the nice packaging? We’re awarding the Lovehoney 12 Day “Discover Romance” advent calendar a very reasonable 4/5 stars!
Where To Buy
Thinking about buying a Lovehoney advent calendar for you or a loved one? Check out the range at Lovehoney by clicking the buttons below:
That’s it from me for this post. Have you ever bought a sex toy advent calendar before? Leave a comment below or read more sex toy review posts!
Until next time!
Stay safe & have fun.
Love,
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